


Coffee for Beginners

by Oli Grey (NeroliGrimm)



Series: How the Stars Shine for You [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura makes her grand entrance, Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Frottage, Happy Ending, M/M, mentions of past cheating, not between them though, rich lance, sweet lance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-11 07:06:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8964808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeroliGrimm/pseuds/Oli%20Grey
Summary: It's Christmas season and Keith left a bad relationship. He thought he was done with love until he met Lance whom he accidentally bumps into and spills his coffee. He offers to buy him another and Lance gratefully accepts. Lance invites him for coffee on two separate occasions. One night Keith finds a kitten and Lance offers to raise her together with him.Will this new encounter heal Keith or will he let fear push his feelings away so he won't be hurt again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First fic in a long time! I'm terrible at summaries. 
> 
> This was suppose to be a Christmas fic but I haven't had any time off from work. So this will be a Christmas and New year's fic.

The small apartment was mostly empty with only a few tidbits of furniture and substantial objects meant to survive. When Keith had moved he only took what he could manage in his friend's old truck. The one room apartment was terrible with keeping the heat in and Keith spent most of his nights wrapped in heavy blankets.

This place was the cheapest he could find in the time he had. His first priority was leaving his ex boyfriend before he found himself arrested for murder charges. The timing was horrible as Christmas season approached. His lack of funds was dwindling but he couldn't imagine doing anything differently after catching his boyfriend with another person yet again.

The comforts of his life with Jake had been almost worth the cheating but one could only take the pain for so long before cracking. Keith was done. He would manage to survive on his own with his salary which wasn't much working at a bookstore. The pay wasn't terrible but it wasn't enough to put money on the side for the future.

He had dropped out of school a year ago. He had thought about going back but he had met his boyfriend and things had changed. Jake had been well off and Keith had fallen into the comfort that Jake surrounded him in when he offered to pay for everything. Keith had grown soft and never thought about what to do with his future. The job at the bookstore wasn't bad and at the time he wasn't worried about money.

Now he was shivering as he cranked the heating up to seventy but could barely feel the warmth coming from the vents. He almost wished he owned a pet so he could snuggle into their fur. The weather wasn't deathly cold yet but his room seemed to suck in all the cold from the outside. He dreaded the time when the cold plummeted into the negatives. He could only imagine how his blood would freeze in the middle of the night.

Keith heated up soup hoping the heat would help a little as he turned on his tv. Christmas specials were playing and he groaned. He didn't have many channels and he no longer had the netflix account that his boyfriend had paid for. He turned off the tv and the silence was maddening. Boredom set in as he looked around the dark empty room. The apartment had one small room off to the side. The room was more like a closet but it was listed as a one room instead of a studio to keep the rent up.

After some time he gave up and threw on a jacket and gloves as he headed out. He was unfamiliar with the neighborhood but there was a park close by. The sky was dark but it was still early enough that he didn't have to worry about suspicious people.

Trees were decorated with lights as he neared the park. There was an area for ice skating and a few people were trying not to trip over themselves as they propped themselves up with each other. Keith wrapped his arms around his middle as he passed the rink.

The hard snow crunched under his feet as he shuffled around the path. The sounds of the people ice skating faded as he walked deeper into the park. During the day the park was full of college people as the local college was on the outskirts of the area but right now no one was around. The lack of people was eerie as he walked over a foot bridge.

He was about to turn around when he saw a dark silhouette by the garden area. Only the seasonal plants were in bloom but even then the garden wasn't much to look at. Keith wondered why the person was standing there by themselves.

He shrugged his shoulders as he walked passed. Whatever the reason was none of his business. He wasn't the type to poke his nose into everything that was happening around him. Which was one of the reasons why he had taken so long to leave his destructive relationship.

He was ready to head back to his place, his ears tingled from the cold. He never liked wearing hats but this year might be one were he would have to put up with the material. The cold was working its way through his clothes and he wished his place was warmer but it really wasn't.

As he turned around his eyes linger over the garden and he no longer saw the person in front of it. He peered around the area and noticed the person up ahead. Their hands were in the pockets of the long olive jacket that hung off their shoulders. The person seemed slightly taller than him as they stood in front of the foot bridge.

Keith was spotted as he approached the person. His head turned swiftly and Keith stopped in his tracks. He didn't want to appear suspicious so he nodded his head at the person. Sharp blue eyes surveyed him before he nodded back.

Keith was uncertain if he should pass the guy or wait and see if he would move. He was almost blocking the path and Keith didn't want to intrude in their space. He could go back the other way. Before he could decide the person moved out of the way and Keith walked pass without a second thought.

As Keith walked around the stranger he was struck by sparkling blue eyes that looked a little sad. He was struck by the intensity of the colour and the memory stayed in his head for the rest of the night. His dreams were full of blue stars.

 

In a span of two weeks he never realized how alone he felt. His time was spent between staying in his small cold apartment and the bookstore. He was working more hours now that he needed the money and it still was barely enough to scrape by. During his comings and goings he had yet to meet any of his neighbors. He wondered even if the other rooms were rented out by how silent it was around him. The bonus of having quiet neighbors instead of loud obnoxious ones made his life a little better.

The silence killed though. The lack of humanity made him feel like he was alone at the edge of the universe. The contrast between this and living with Jake was an extreme difference. He had learned how much his life had been effected by depending on others. He had lost a lot of himself by relying on his relationship.

He wished he had made more of an effort with school. He had lost all his passion for his hobbies. He wondered how he had lived for the past year. He had made his life revolve around his boyfriend instead of living for himself. His only thought had been to make him happy and nothing else.

In the end the result only made his life hell. He had only been played. All his efforts had been for naught as he found out his boyfriend couldn't be happy with just him. He had been used and thrown aside at his boyfriend's whim.

The hours at the bookstore kept him from moping too much as the holiday season was just around the corner. Business had started picking up mid November as it neared thanksgiving. Keith plastered a smile on his face as he helped people find the right books for strangers he didn't know. The interactions helped his mind focus.

When he was home he spent his time reading, hoping to pull himself into a stranger's mind instead of his own. He wanted to drown himself in the words to forget about the cold pressing against his skin. Every time he read about a glamorous meal he would feel the pang of hunger and wished he was able to afford food that wasn't made from a box or can.

When he found he couldn't find comfort in books he would walk around the area. He would find himself back in the park glancing over to the garden. He hadn't come across the strange boy again but any kind of human interaction would have been nice.

Snow had melted before the sky let more fall. The weather was cold then warm before it finally settled on freezing. Snow piled up over thanksgiving weekend but the white flurries didn't stop the floods of people shopping in need of finding the best deal on gifts that would be forgotten in years to come.

Keith floated through the days as they passed slowly for him. People hustled around him like they thought time would suddenly stop. He watched them through a cloudy lens as if he were disconnected from the world.

He hated feeling isolated but he couldn't find a way to mingle with the people around him. Even attempting to interact with his coworkers who he was familiar with was a strain as if a invisible wall was between them. He had turned off his emotions and now everyday things were impossible for him.

As he walked home from a long shift standing before people who demanded to know why _specifically he_ didn't carry a book that they were looking for as he stared blankly at them. His mind was in the midst of exploding when he ran into something. His body stiffened as curses strung through the air. His mind cleared enough to focus on the steamy drink that was running down a green jacket as a smashed styrofoam cup was clutched in a gloved hand.

“What the cheese,” the guy's annoyed voice dragged out as he attempted to wipe down the mess with his other glove. The liquid only smeared more as the leather material rubbed against the fabric. Keith looked away from the stain only to be met with piercing blue eyes.

His heart thudded against his rib cage as his cheeks reddened which he would blame on the frost in the air. This was the same guy that he had seen in the park.

“Hey I said watch were you're going,” Keith stared at the delicate looking lips that were now pressed into an annoyed line.

Keith shook himself out of his reverie and pulled his eyes away. That was dangerous. “I'm sorry, uh, really I'm sorry.” His face was too warm for being this cold out.

The guy must of taken pity on him as his irritation slipped away. “It's fine,” he sighed as he looked down at his cup with a pout. “I was really looking forward to enjoying this coffee.”

Keith felt a little guilty. “Uh I could buy you another one.” His mind was in turmoil. This guy was really attractive when his lips formed into a pout.

“I'm already late,” the guy's voice almost sounded regretful, “How about another time?”

Keith felt a little tingle through his body as his mind went to places it shouldn't. He was only responding to his offer of course.

“Yeah sure. Uh...”

The guy pulled out a slip of paper from his bag and wrote down his contact information in a rush.

“Here,” he smiled as Keith took the paper. The guy waved and continued on his way. Keith stared down at the sloppy writing, at the name scrawled carelessly above the digits. Lance McClain. Once he arrived home he sent a quick message to the number before his nervousness could stop him.

 

Keith never thought for a second that Lance would ever contact him but a few days later he received a brief meet up text for the following day. The place was a small not well known restaurant by the bookstore. He walked passed the place every day but had never entered. The place was famous for the coffee and the college students gathered there every morning.

His reply was a short affirmative as he ended his shift. He gathered his stuff as he waved goodbye to the others. The brisk wind greeted him as he exited the store. The walk home didn't take too long but by the time he reached his place the cold had already swept through his clothes settling deep within his bones.

The inside of his apartment wasn't much better. The cold hung heavy in the air, the heater made a clunking sound but did not do much else. Keith threw on a sweater as he heated up some water for tea. At least he had hot water, he couldn't imagine taking ice cold showers.

As he ate a quick box meal he pondered about the meeting with Lance the next day. He owed him a drink so it wasn't like it was a date. It wasn't a date he repeated to himself. He had just met the guy, only briefly. Plus he wasn't ready for another relationship. At all.

After his last boyfriend it would be a while before he wanted to start again. If he even wanted to. There was no way he was going through that again. Keith was not ready to open himself up to another person so this thing tomorrow was just him owing the guy a cup of coffee.

 

 

Keith arrived early not because he was nervous but he just needed to be somewhere that was not an ice box. He found a seat in the corner after ordering a spiced tea as he waited. He had a good view out the window so he would be prepared when Lance arrived. Not that he needed to be prepared he told himself.

A few minutes after the applied time he saw him walk up to the shop. Lance looked around before entering and noticed him. He gave a light wave as he made his way to his table. Keith wrapped his hand around his cup to hid a nervous tick as Lance slid into the seat across from him.

Lance wore a long black coat which looked like it cost more than his monthly salary. A pale blue scarf was wrapped around his neck. The fabric looked really soft and Keith wanted to tangle his fingers in the material. Lance pulled the scarf off as he settled comfortably against the chair.

“Hey,” Lance's smile was slightly timid but bright as if he was really excited to be there. Keith's expression hindered on dreamy as he almost lost where he was.

“Hi,” Keith wasn't sure if he should say more as Lance peered at him. His fingers tightened around his cup drawing out the warmth. The moment was interrupted by the waiter as he came to see if Lance wanted to order anything.

Lance ordered coffee and when they were alone again they were both silent. Keith stared down at his tea as his mind went through a million topics at once but not finding one that wouldn't make him feel awkward. The pressure in the air was tense as he tried everything to not make a fool out of himself.

Lance broke the tension as he asked what he was drinking. Keith replied as Lance smiled at him.

“So you're not a coffee person?” Lance's lips pulled down in a small frown and Keith thought it was cute.

He quickly pulled his eyes away from his mouth as he replied, “Not really.”

“I don't think I could survive without at least three cups a day.”

Keith smiled at his confession. So far all he knew about this guy was that he wore expensive clothing and drinks coffee. He could handle this.

“Do you like sweets? You should try their apple tarts.” Lance hummed as he fiddled with a sugar packet.

“Yeah,” Keith replied before the waiter came by with coffee. Lance ordered the apple tarts not waiting to see if Keith wanted the dish.

Keith took a deep sip of his tea as he felt Lance's heavy gaze on him. He wished he was better at holding a conversation.

“Are you busy later tonight?”

“I have to work late.” Keith wondered why he asked but pushed it from his mind.

“Oh,” Lance seemed to deflate at his response. He poured sugar into his coffee. “What about this weekend?”

“I'm only free on Sunday,” Keith stated.

Lance perked up at that. “We could grab some coffee, or tea for you in the morning.”

Keith frowned. He only owed him one cup. “Is this not enough?”

“Huh?”

Keith blushed at Lance's confused expression, “That's fine if you want.” He said instead.

“Great,” Lance smiled softly.

A moment later the waiter brought the plate of apple tarts and Lance enthusiastically encouraged him to eat it. The tart didn't last long between the both of them and Keith was grateful that Lance had ordered it. He hadn't ate something this good in so long that the tang of the apples left a pleasant aftertaste on his tongue.

They talked about the weather and how this was the first time Lance had lived in a place that was cold enough to snow. Keith couldn't imagine a life without cold long winters. Lance's family had lived in Cuba before moving to Miami and now Lance was living here on an art scholarship. Keith enjoyed listening to him and before he knew it an hour had passed.

Keith mentioned that he would have to leave soon. Lance excused himself for a minute and Keith pondered how much the bill would be. He had just finished his tea when Lance reappeared.

He pulled his jacket and scarf on, “Nice meeting you again, thanks for the coffee and I really enjoyed your company.” Lance grinned, “See you soon.”

“See you,” Keith waved.

After Lance left he went up to the counter to ask about the bill. The person stated that the bill had already been paid. Keith stared at her in confusion and she assured him that Lance had already paid for them. Keith thanked her before leaving with thoughts in turmoil.

Why had Lance paid for the bill when he was the one that owed him coffee? Was that the reason why he asked to drink coffee on Sunday? Keith didn't know why Lance had gone through all that effort just to be the one to pay.

Keith brushed it off for now as he hurried home. He was running late for his shift. With the holiday season in full effect he was now working overtime. He was counting the days till the madness ended.

 

On Thursday he received a quick text from Lance telling him to meet him at the same cafe at ten. Keith's response was short telling Lance he would be there. Three days had passed since he saw him. He had almost forgotten about Sunday, the rush from working had pushed the meeting from his mind.

Nervousness set in as he wondered if he should ask Lance why he had paid. The whole point of meeting up had been because he had owed him for spilling his coffee in the first place. He would pay on Sunday then his debt would be settled.

The rest of the week dragged by slowly. The long shifts at work were torment. His feet ached from standing all day or running back and forth to make sure shelves were stocked. His time at home was spent sleeping and it seemed no matter how long he slept his body was still sore and tired.

His shift ended at midnight on Saturday and he dragged himself home. He hoped he wouldn't have dark bags under his eyes when he met up with Lance in the morning. He was too exhausted to notice the cold in his apartment as he burrowed deep in his blankets.

 

The sky was grey and lifeless when he woke. He stared blearily in the mirror at himself. He was paler than normal. He had never been superficial about his appearance but his skin looked so sickly that he didn't want to show up looking like a person on their deathbed.

He washed up and quickly dried himself before his body froze as he threw on warm clothes. He put on some foundation so his skin looked slightly better. He wasn't a huge makeup person but his friend had shown him some benefits for quick fixes so he had taken their advice. Sometimes when he had the chance he would wear eyeliner but lately he had not been able to go out with his friends so he hadn't put the effort in.

He took a deep breath in to settle his nerves before leaving. This would be just like the other time. They would enjoy warm drinks and maybe Lance would order another apple tart. Keith could handle this. He would make sure to pay this time and that would be the end.

Lance had arrived before him this time. He was sitting at the same table they had before. Keith made his way over and sat across from him. Lance's radiant smile greeted him and Keith forgot how to speak as he stared.

“Hey,” Lance leaned forward. “You look good.” He was wearing a dark purple sweater and the colour made his olive skin glow.

“Yeah, you too.” Keith figured Lance was being polite because Keith's appearance paled in comparison to his.

They ordered drinks and some sandwiches which Lance insisted on. After the food and drinks arrived Keith relaxed.

“Long week?” Lance asked as he peered at Keith's tired face.

“Yeah, I work at the bookstore a couple blocks away, it's been insane with the holiday shoppers.”

“I can only imagine,” Lance chuckled.

“I need the money so it's not that bad,” Keith omitted the reason why he needed the money in the first place. He did not want to ruin the morning by talking about his ex.

Lance looked concerned. “Are you in trouble?”

“No not in that way, just need to support myself.”

“You live alone?” Lance questioned, eyes lighting up.

“I just moved so I just have extra finances.” Keith sat up straight as he remembered that Lance had paid last time. “Thanks for paying last time but I'm the one that owes you a cup of coffee.”

Lance's grin was disarming as he shrugged. “I forgot about that.”

“I'll pay this time,” Keith wasn't flustered under Lance's gaze. He really wasn't.

“It's fine, I've got this one,” Lance interrupted Keith with a smirk before he could protest. “I'll let you know when I want you to pay.”

Lance's teasing words rolled over him and he dipped his head to hide his blush. Did this mean that Lance wanted to see him more? Keith stared down at his tea wishing he could ignore how attractive the guy across from him was. He was making things hard for him.

 

 

Keith's electricity went out one night as the first huge snow storm swept through the city. Candle light danced over the place casting eerie shadows on the walls as he scavenged through unpacked boxes to find more to light. One day he would have the energy to unpack the rest of his stuff but for now the boxes would be filled with useless belongings that he no longer needed.

Gusting wind whistled through the cracks in the old windows and he was prepared to place a blanket over the area when he heard a slight high pitch cry. He thought the noise was from the storm but as he drew nearer to the window the cry was there again almost sounding like a new born. He peered out at the white washed world but couldn't make anything out.

The only noises he heard was from the wind now so he figured he only imagined the sound when it came again. He threw open the window to stick his head out. His eyes swept the ledge next to the frame and saw a black ball. The round shape wasn't what he thought when he saw the form shake and a low keening cry came from the bundle.

His eyes widened and without thought he reached out and scooped up the mass of fur as he swiftly pulled the kitten inside. He slammed the window shut as he held the quivering animal against his chest. The air in his apartment wasn't much better than the outside but at least there wasn't the deathly wind blowing around in here.

He wrapped the kitten in the blanket he was going to put over the window. He placed the bundle down as he found another throw and promptly covered the window with that to keep most of the chill out. The kitten's cry was still high and he reach back over to the stray and gathered it in his arms. He made his way to the kitchen area and filled a bowl with water.

He wasn't sure how old the kitten was but it seemed big enough to live without its mother. At least he hoped. He never had a cat before and knew nothing about them besides how unpredictable they could be. The kitten was still shaking, the fur against his hand felt chilled as he tried to rub some warmth back into its body.

He placed the kitten by the water bowl to see if it would drink. After a few sniffs the kitten tested out the water and then lapped it up. Keith ran his fingers along its back as he wondered what food would be good for the cat.

He hesitated a moment before grabbing his phone and sent a text to Lance asking for advice. He didn't have to wait long before his phone chimed.

Lance: You found a kitten? Awesome!

A few seconds later he received another text.

Lance: Lucky you did, don't think it would survive outside right now. Food - you could try poultry meat. Also cooked eggs if you have any. Oatmeal works too.

Keith looked through what he had and found a package of meat and a couple eggs. He replied to Lance that he found some food and thanked him. He cooked up some of the food as he monitored the kitten. It had curled up in the blanket he provided as it surveyed the surroundings.

When Keith placed the plate of food in front of the kitten it mewled as it devoured the substance.

“I'll buy some cat food tomorrow.” He promised it as the food disappeared.

He slept with the kitten curled against his shoulder. The weight of the small body felt nice as they shared warmth. He was a little nervous about rolling over in his sleep and crushing it but he never moved much in his sleep so he let the thought escape his mind.

The following morning he received a text from Lance asking to come over and see the kitten. Keith sent him his address and waited for him to show. The kitten was more active as it explored his place. He was nervous that the cat would find some place to hide that he wouldn't be able to find it.

Twenty minutes later he received a text from Lance letting him know he arrived. He let Lance in and he was carrying a bag of kitten food with a small box with litter. He set them up by the door.

“You didn't need to do that,” Keith collected himself as the initial shock of Lance's offering left, “I was about to go out to buy some.”

Lance grinned. “I couldn't help myself. I live near a pet store.”

“Thanks,” Keith couldn't believe how lucky he was. He looked over at the kitten as it slowly approached the food.

Lance pulled Keith to the side so they weren't crowding the food. “It's best to leave cats alone so they don't feel skittish.”

Keith nodded as the animal cautiously ate. “I was thinking I should bring it to the humane society. I can't afford to keep a cat.”

Lance frowned. “I suppose.” He looked a little sad before he smiled excitedly. “I could take it, wait, is it a boy or girl?”

Keith froze, he hadn't thought to check. “I'm not sure.”

Lance looked at him blankly. “Really?” Lance shrugged. “I guess that's not important concerning the situation.”

“I just wanted to make sure they weren't starving.” Keith stated.

Lance agreed. “I'll take the kitten into my care. I can take it to the vet and see what it needs.”

“Are you able to afford all that?” Keith couldn't imagine an art student having enough money to even pay for their own expenses.

“It's fine,” Lance's smile was reassuring as it calmed his anxiety. “Plus my family has lots of pets, I've been missing an animal companion.”

“Okay,” Keith smiled softly.

“We could raise it together.” Lance spoke with a devious grin. “It'll be our prodigy.”

Keith blushed at the thought of raising anything with Lance. That was not what his heart needed at that moment.

Keith laughed it off. “I'll just come visit it when I can.”

Lance pouted but his excitement bubbled through as he approached the kitten and introduced himself. The kitten bumped its head against Lance's outstretched fingers as he cooed at it. Keith watched silently as he tried to repress the emotions he dared not feel again.

 

Lance took the cat as Keith left for his shift at the bookstore. He received updates throughout the day. Lance had made an appointment with the vet. Another about boring documents he had to file. Lance's texts made it seem owning a cat was more hassle than anything but he hoped it was worth it.

By the last hour of his shift Lance had sent pictures of the cat looking grumpy by the end of the ordeal.

Lance: She's a girl! Also she's only 9 weeks old!!!

Keith: Nice

Lance: What should we name her????

Keith stared at Lance's message. He never thought of naming the cat. He had believed the cat would be gone from his life the moment he would have brought it to the humane society.

Keith: You should name her...

Lance: No fun. How about Storm? Since you found her in a snow storm. Also the name of the best x-men ever.

Keith smiled softly as his finger hovered over his phone.

Keith: Sounds nice.

Lance: When's your next day off?

Keith: Thursday

Lance: Come to my place and we can bond with Storm. I can make dinner too.

Keith stared at his phone as he hesitated. Was spending more time with Lance a good idea? His heart thudded as he sent Lance a quick text before tucking his phone away as he headed out into the cold.

 

Keith: I can be there.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nsfw content ahead.
> 
> This chapter has a sad ending so a little warning just in case.

Keith double checked the address in his phone. This couldn't be right. The neighborhood wasn't too far from his own but this area was... nice. He could almost see the buildings made from money. This wasn't a place where an art student lived.

If he could afford this then no wonder he wasn't worried about vet payments. Keith frowned as he looked up at the twenty layered apartment building. The building looked new with what looked like windowed balconies and grey stone sidings. He hesitated before approaching the entrance.

An empty feeling settled deep in him as he rang the number for Lance's apartment. The last experience he had with someone with wealth had not ended well. He didn't want to go through that again even if they weren't dating. Which they weren't Keith reminded himself.

A buzz sounded and the glass doors slid open. Welcome to wealth he thought while he rolled his eyes as he stepped inside the foyer. Plants and pristine furniture welcomed him as the doors shut behind him. The air was warm and he couldn't help but feel ashamed that Lance had been at his place where the temperature had been too cold for human comfort.

He pushed those thoughts from his mind when he heard the elevator chime and the doors opened to reveal Lance. He smiled as he ushered Keith into the elevator. The ride up was uncomfortable for Keith but the silence was interrupted by Lance. He talked about Storm and how the kitten had spent the whole day napping after she wore herself from playing.

He couldn't concentrate as Lance spoke. His uneasiness consumed him as the elevator continued to climb. It felt like it took forever but the elevator finally halted on the ninth floor. Lance lived on the ninth floor. His breath hitched as the doors slowly opened and he was following Lance into an art decorated hallway that he could never imagine should be in any apartment building.

They reached his door and Keith held his breath. He was led into an open space which was more like a hallway that led to two doors opposite each other. He assumed the doors led to the bedroom and bathroom. Lance walked further down the hallway which opened into the kitchen and living room with a wall that divided the two.

The space was clean though a little untidy where Lance kept his canvas and art supplies by the window next to the kitchen. There were cat toys littered all over the floor. Lance had gone all out for Storm. Keith felt out of place as Lance came up to him with Storm in his arms. The kitten was squirming as she tried to escape his hold.

Lance laughed as she jumped from his arms and approached Keith. She rubbed against him, her tail curling around his leg.

“She remembers you,” Lance grinned as he grabbed a stick with some feathers at the end of it.

Keith watched as Lance twirled the feather end around as the cat chased and slid while the feathers danced in the air. His expression soften at the display. Lance played for a while before the kitten tired out, only making halfhearted sweeps with her paw when the toy was close enough.

Lance put the toy away while Keith rubbed the kitten's head. She purred as she rubbed her cheeks against his fingers.

“We don't fully own her yet. I have more forms to fill out and once she's fixed then she'll be living here for good.” Lance couldn't hide his excitement as he grinned at Storm.

Keith didn't have the heart to correct Lance. He had already told him that she wasn't his. He didn't want to erase the image of how Lance looked with pride and joy as he stated that the cat was theirs.

“I'm sure she will be happy here.” His voice hid the hollowness he felt deep in his gut.

“I'll make sure everyone of her needs are fulfilled.” Lance stated. “Oh I hope you like curry. I managed to find a good recipe and had some advice from a few friends on how to prepare it.”

Keith grinned. He hadn't had curry in a long time, his boyfriend had hated any spice or anything that wasn't pressed between two buns. It had been a while since he ate anything that wasn't bland.

“I love curry,” He noticed as Lance looked away from him with a slight rosy tint to his cheeks when he had smiled at him. “Thanks.”

Lance cleared his throat. “The table is all set if you are ready.” He gestured to the round table that was next to his canvases.

Keith made his way to one of the plates that was set out. The aroma from the food made his mouth water as he sat down. Lance settled himself on the other side and they dug in. Lance had done a excellent job for his first time. Keith savored the food as the spice slid over his tongue.

After the meal Lance asked if he wanted to stay and watch a movie. So they wound up watching The Force Awakens. Keith wound up falling sleep during the middle too exhausted to keep his eyes open. He woke up with his cheek on Lance's shoulder and he pulled away, his face tinting with embarrassment.

“Sorry,” he mumbled sleepily.

“It's fine,” Lance smiled at him gently. “I was comfortable.”

Keith glanced down as the need to snuggle with Lance overwhelmed him. “I should probably go.” He checked the time and it was almost midnight.

“I can drive you back if you want.” Lance offered.

“Sure, thanks,” the thought of walking in the cold at the moment wasn't appealing.

The ride back was short and he was slightly disappointed to leave Lance's company. He had a really good night and he wished it didn't have to end. Once they reached his apartment he turned to Lance to thank him for the food. As his eyes locked with the blue irises his words were lost in his throat.

“Thanks for coming over and trying my food.”

“Yeah,” Keith's voice was soft. “Thanks for cooking.”

“Good night.” 

“Night,” Keith didn't want to leave but he managed to make his way to his apartment as Lance waited in his car until he entered his apartment.

 

 

A few days later he was back at Lance's place with Storm curled up in his lap. Christmas was less than two weeks away and Lance had messaged him that he had wanted to make some festive cookies. Lance had bribed him with sleeping pictures of Storm. Keith couldn't say no. He watched as Lance prepped the kitchen while stroking the kitten's soft fur.

“This probably won't be as good as my mom's but I don't think I could spend the holidays without it.”

Keith snorted, “Why don't you just go back home?”

“Oh I will,” Lance winked. “I just wanted an excuse to hang with you.”

“Are you kidding me?”

Lance laughed. “Maybe I wanted to share something I love with you.”

Keith blushed as he focused his attention on the kitten in his lap instead of the fire in Lance's eyes. His heart fluttered as he tried to control his breathing. Act normal, just act normal. He closed his eyes for a second before opening them.

“I don't think I had anyone ever make Christmas cookies for me.” 

“That's a shame,” Lance cleared his throat as he turned back to his task of gathering ingredients. “Did your family never celebrate the holidays?”

“I'm an orphan,” Keith stated hoping that Lance wouldn't pity him like some others did. “I never really had a chance but I didn't mind it that much when I had friends to celebrate with.”

Lance paused, his expression unreadable as he thought of what to say. Keith's posture relaxed when Lance smiled tilted to one side. “There's always a first and I would be glad to be the one to pop your first time festive cookie tasting.”

Keith laughed as he replied, “I ate cookies before. My friends have given me plenty.”

Lance pouted, “Well I'm sure you never had Torticas de Navidad.” Lance's pout turned into a mischievous smirk.

“What's Torticas de Navidad?” he asked curious by Lance's excitement.

“It's Cuban Christmas cookies.” Lance explained. “My mamá always made too much but they never lasted long between my family and the neighbors.”

Keith visioned Lance and his family eating all the cookies and wondered how he stayed so thin.

“Now I'll give you your very first experience with Cuban Christmas cookies.” Lance licked his lips and Keith nearly choked on air at the sight. He quickly turned his attention away from Lance to focus on Storm, rubbing her ears as he tried to cool the heat that overcame him.

When he returned his attention back to Lance, he was measuring out all the ingredients as he hummed. Keith hoped that he hadn't noticed his reaction to his action and he was pretty sure it had been just an innocent motion. Keith moaned inwardly to himself.

Lance peered over his shoulder, grinning. “Come and help me.”

“I thought you were going to make them for me.” Keith teased as he settled Storm on the floor. She gave him a displeased noise.

“I'll give you more attention later,” he reassured her in a whisper as he gave her one last pat. She licked his fingers before strolling away to curl up on the pet bed in the corner.

Keith turned back to Lance and was met with pouty lips. Keith's breath halted at the sight.

“W-what?” His voice sounded unsteady.

“I just thought it would be fun to bake together,” Lance's voice held a teasing tone and Keith had to control himself when all he wanted was to push Lance against the counter and ravage those lips.

Keith grinned, “You probably just don't know how to bake.”

“You think so?” Lance's hooded eyes met his as Keith slowly approached him.

“You would probably burn the place down without supervision.” 

“I was fine making curry,” Lance leaned in, their noses almost touching.

“That's true.”

“And it tasted amazing.”

“That is also true.” Keith's voice was barely above a whisper as he stared down at Lance's tempting lips. He bit down on his bottom lip and before he could think of more to say Lance pounced on him. Their lips melded together and Keith's lips parted in a breathless gasp. Their lips locked together in a heated kiss and their tongues explored deep before pulling away.

“Fuck,” Lance breathed out before he pushed Keith against the counter as he attacked his lips again. Keith grinned against his mouth before sliding his tongue against the seam of his lips. Lance groaned before pulling away again.

Keith let out a disappointed whimper before he was lifted so that he was sitting on the counter. His startled gasp made Lance grin as he stared at him with a predatory look. Keith felt himself harden and he shifted on the hard surface as Lance stood in between his legs.

Lance pressed forward as Keith wrapped his legs around him bringing him closer to the counter so their pelvises met. The coldness from the marble crept through his jeans but Keith didn't mind. Warmth pressed against his front as Lance's arms caged him bringing their lips together. He could feel Lance's hardness against the fabric of his jeans and he ground his lower body against him content as he heard a moan ring out of Lance's mouth.

His hands trailed over Lance's back, fingers trailing the muscles that brunched up as Lance moved against him. His hands trailed down his sides and slid across the rough edge of the jeans. His thumbs hooked the material down wanting to feel the hidden flesh underneath.

Lance's mouth was busy with his as his fingers deftly unbuttoned his jeans. The sound of the zipper was drowned out by their panting as Keith finally pressed his palm against Lance's heat. The touch brought out a ragged groan as Lance bit gently on Keith's lower lip. Keith licked over the indents as Lance pulled away slightly to mouth against his lower jaw, following the curve up to the spot below his ear. 

Ragged breath filled the air as Lance's hands found their way under his shirt, deft fingers exploring his skin. Feather touches tickle over his skin and all his will power was spent not collapsing in a fit of laughter before a low sigh passed his lips when teasing digits pressed against his nipples. 

Lance captured his lips with his and Keith lost how long they stayed like that. Keith pulled away from the kiss and stared at Lance's ravaged lips. He licked his own lips as his eyes flicked up to Lance's piercing gaze. 

He was held hostage by the penetrating blue of his eyes. Lance's lips tipped to one side playfully before he nipped along his jawline teasingly. His hands continued to explore his chest making breathy moans escape from his lips.

Lance pulled away from him slightly, just enough room to push his shirt up and over so that he was bare chested. Keith blushed as Lance took his time to study his body. The intense look was too much for him and he pulled him back in for another deep kiss.

Fingers slid through short soft brown hair and he tugged lightly at the threads. Lance groaned hungrily as he rubbed against him. The contact sent a shiver running through him. He rolled his hips to counter Lance's movements. The friction made him oversensitive. The friction wouldn't make him last long as he rubbed against Lance.

He gasped out as Lance's touches continued to overstimulated his body. He impatiently pushed Lance's shirt up to tease at brown nipples. Lance's eyes were dark with desire as he leaned in to bite at Keith's neck. Keith pressed his cheek against his hair as a tingling sensation coiled low in his stomach. He was close and he was still clothed.

He pushed slightly away as he undid his pants and pulled out his erection. Lance let out happy noises as he did the same to him. He held their erections lightly together, his grip tightened as his hand moved over the flesh.

Lance was shaking in his hold and Keith bit back a moan at the ravaged look in the man's face. Lance went back to suckling his flesh, peppering his neck in light kisses before pulling at the taut skin with his teeth. Keith's mouth was lax as soft moans escaped from him.

His fingers slid over their hardness, pressing against the heads. Lance shuddered as he slowly rocked against him. He could tell that Lance was close as whimpers pressed against his skin. His other hand pushed under Lance's shirt to rub against his back. The skin was slick against his fingers and he turned his mouth to lick against the top of Lance's ear.

Lance stiffened as his release took over, wetting Keith's fingers as he continued to pump both of them. Lance bit down hard on his neck and Keith threw back his head as he came hard. Their mingled seed coated his hand but he ignored the mess as he rested his forehead against Lance's shoulder. The warmth that covered him soothed him as Lance wrapped his arms around his middle.

After a few minutes Keith chuckled ruining the silence between them. “Looks like the cookies aren't going to be made after all.”

Lance snorted, “So you think,” he mumbled sleepily against his neck, “We're still making them.”

Keith smiled playfully as he raised his head. His sight landed on the bowl of flour, his eyes lighting up. “We are?” he asked as he dipped his finger into the flour and rolled it along Lance's cheek.

Lance grimaced at the mess and Keith was glad he hadn't used the hand that was still dirty from their previous act. Lance made for the bowl and before he knew it Keith's chest and back were covered in flour hand prints. He giggled as he tried to push the hard body away from him but Lance wrestled him down tickling his sides. Lance found his weakness as he dug into his sensitive sides making Keith thrash uncontrollably.

Lance pushed their faces together and rubbed his nose against Keith's. He stop giggling as soft lips skimmed over his. His eyes fluttered close as they softly kissed. The cookies weren't baked until later that night between chaste kisses and soft touches.

 

 

The next morning found Keith staring into the mirror with dark shadows under his eyes. He had arrived home late and only had a few hours sleep before his shift. His mind had been racing, preventing sleep as the memory of Lance's touches rolled through his brain.

Keith couldn't believe he had lost control like that. He should be regretting what happened but he had felt too good that the emotion couldn't dampen his spirit. Keith had left with Lance looking like he wanted to keep kissing him the rest of the night.

Keith pressed his fingertips against his lips remembering the feel of Lance's lips pressed against his. He didn't know exactly what they were. They weren't boyfriends. Maybe friends? But friends don't really do stuff like that. Friends with benefits? He always hated the idea of that.

Keith glanced at the clock and cursed. He was late. He pushed the thought from his mind as he raced to put on warm clothes before heading out into the cold.

 

Lance: Storm climbed up the bookshelf and cried at me until I helped her down.

 

Lance: Storm tangled herself up in my Christmas lights. 

The video attached to the message was of Storm on her back as she struggled to escape the corded mess.

 

Lance: Come over tomorrow after work

 

Lance: Good night ~ have sweet dreams of me~

 

 

Keith stared up at his ceiling, blankets bundled around him. His nose and ears were cold but that didn't bother him as sleep eluded him. Thoughts of a certain blue-eyed boy was evading his thoughts.

He would be seeing Lance tomorrow night. What was going to happen? Would they act normal as if nothing happened? What if Lance wanted more of their relationship. Keith wasn't sure if he was ready for something like that. His last relationship had burned him too much that he never wanted to go through that again.

He sighed as his brain jumped from one question to another. He came to realize that he wouldn't be able to sleep peacefully as he rolled onto his side. He checked his phone which had been silent for hours. He reread Lance's last text and smiled. It would be nice to dream about him if he was able to sleep.

 

Exhaustion rode him throughout his shift as he plastered a fake smile on his face for the costumers benefit. He was ready for long peaceful days once the holidays were over. He helped a group of giggling girls who seemed to only ask for his help to obtain his phone number. He had refused them politely going over the reasons why he couldn't. Company policy was good for some things.

The day passed slowly causing the tension in his body to build up. The more time he had to think about seeing Lance that night the more questions built up in his mind. His brain was unfocused which made some people asking him questions upset. He just couldn't please everyone at the moment.

Finally his shift ended and he took his time walking home. Suddenly minutes were slipping by too fast and his heart raced as every unanswered question bogged down his brain. He decided that he would let whatever this was to play out and hopefully this thing between them would smooth out.

 

 

Lance met him in front of his apartment. His heart was pounding the whole way up to the ninth floor. He wasn't sure if it was from the energy drink he had or the way that Lance was looking at him as if he were the stars in the night sky.

He was offered food and tea which he gladly accepted. He couldn't hold Lance's gaze whenever their eyes met. The space in between them was only a few inches but it felt like they were worlds apart. Keith wanted to hold onto Lance, feel the heat from his skin and the beat of his heart under his palm.

They played with Storm until she grew annoyed with them and escaped to her cat stand to stare outside the window. Keith grinned as he noticed how well fed she looked. He couldn't imagine what would have happened to her if he had not found her that night.

The distraction that the kitten provided had helped ease his mind but now he was alone with Lance. They were sitting down next to each other on the couch. Keith stared down at their knees as they slightly brushed against each other. 

“I'm going to be flying to my parent's house on the twenty-first.” Lance placed a hand over Keith's. The heat from the touch sent tingles through his skin. “I wanted to say something before I left.”

Keith wanted to tangle their fingers together but he froze as all his fears and insecurities washed over him. “Lance...”

“I really like you,” Keith froze at those words. He pulled his hand away from the hand holding his as if the touch had suddenly become scalding. He saw Lance flinch slightly. Keith hated this. He hated himself. He hated his previous boyfriends for making him feel so insecure. “Uh- I mean I think there's something between us, I mean I don't think we would have done what we did if we weren't attracted to each other.” Lance trailed off as his eyes hovered somewhere to the left, avoiding Keith's gaze.

Keith swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I'm sorry but I don't think I'm ready for a intimate relationship or anything.” His voice was barely above a whisper but Lance cringed like he had shouted.

“I understand,” Lance pushed out. “I mean I don't understand but I understand that feeling. But I'm not into one night stands or anything. I guess I still want to be friends but... I think I need some time.”

Keith furrowed his brow hating himself so much right now. “I see.” He rose from his spot on the coach. Lance looked up at him like he wanted to say something to maybe stop him but stayed silent. “I need to go. I have an early shift...” Keith avoided Lance's stare not wanting to see the wounded look that would forever be etched in his memory.

 

He was a fool, a goddamn coward. Keith pulled the blankets over his head as he curled in a ball. It was only a few days away from Christmas and he had managed to wound someone deeply. He wished the darkness of the night would swallow him whole so that he no longer existed.

 

 

The last few days of work before Christmas passed with a blur. He lived on autopilot as he navigated through his routine. The food he ate was tasteless and he didn't care as he only ate enough to appease his body's needs.

His friends invited him to their annual Christmas party on Christmas Eve. He was off for the next few days but he only wished he could work so he would be able to forget the past week. His friends knew something was wrong but they didn't prod, knowing that he would talk to them if he needed to. They exchanged gifts, nothing extravagant or anything but gifts that had meaning behind them.

He was drunk as the party lasted deep into the night. He was grateful for his friends but right now he felt out of place. The thought of being happy left a sick feeling in his gut. He didn't think he deserved to be happy. Every time he had felt potentially happy the end results had never been pretty.

A little after one he said his goodbyes as he left the warm house. The cold didn't bother him as the alcohol heated his body. The usual noisy streets were quiet and dark as light snow fluttered around him. He almost wished that he wasn't alone on the streets feeling like his heart weighed a thousand pounds.

He stared at the decorations lining the road wishing he could forget everything that had happened in the last month. To forget the happiness he had felt around Lance and the pain that he had implanted in those glistening blue eyes. He wished he could forget the times he had spent with Storm and how the little fur ball had dug her claws into his heart.

Tears gleamed in his eyes and he could only blame the cold air for them as he swiftly wiped the wetness away. He wondered how long the memories would last as he walked the last few feet to his apartment building. Would the remembrance of heated touches and laughter be forever fresh in his head?

Once he was inside he took a long hot shower. The steam turned his skin raw as the sting of the water pelted against him. He couldn't feel the heat, only wishing he could erase the loneliness he felt. Lance was in Miami, so far away from him that he felt they were on different worlds.

After his shower Keith stared at his phone for a long time. His thoughts bounced back and forth on whether he should send Lance a text or not. Would the text be a good idea or would it not be the best thing to do at this time. Lance had said he wanted some time to himself. He didn't think he would receive a reply but he sent Lance a plain text anyway.

 

Keith: Merry Christmas

 

He turned off his phone and pushed it away from him, hiding the device somewhere he wouldn't see. He didn't want to know if Lance texted him back or not. His vision blurred as he covered the blankets around him. The alcohol burned inside him making him quake as he laid on his side staring at the dark silent room around him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!~  
> I hope 2017 will be better than 2016.

Keith's sleep had been restless. He woke up several times to find himself with sheets tangled around him and blankets pushed off the bed. After failing to fall back asleep he finally gave up as the clock next to his bed blurred 6:39.

Christmas was here but the morning felt like any other without any decorations strewn around. The only things tossed around his place were dirty clothes and boxes. He should spend the day cleaning but his lack of energy made it difficult to escape his bed. Also he would need to look at his phone and that had his anxiety rise to points were his heart sped up and he broke into a cold sweat.

Lying in bed seemed to be the best option so that was what he did for the next hour. Finally the overlapping thoughts in his head made him restless as he rose from his bed. He stared at the spot where he left his phone and ignored it while he made a quick breakfast.

He decided to find ways of distracting himself to keep his mind off the present. At first he tried losing himself in a book but after reading the same paragraph over and over again he gave up. He decided that maybe stimulating his brain with playing online games would work but no one he knew was on and he gave up from boredom.

The distractions had helped for only an hour but his gaze landed on the spot were his phone was tucked away. The anxiety that gripped his mind was finally too much as he made his way over there. With shaky hands he uncovered his phone and turned the device on. His pulse was loud in his ears as the screen took forever to turn on.

As the messages he received flashed on his screen he held his breath as he scrolled through them. He had several from his friends mostly wishing him merry christmas and a long text from his best friend Allura. His heart stopped as he reached the end of his messages which showed none of them were from Lance.

He didn't know if he should cry or sigh a breath of relief as his trembling fingers swiped to look at Allura's message.

 

Allura: Sorry I didn't have a chance to talk to you much at the party.. you seemed distracted. You better not be moping at home. I'm free tomorrow. Let's talk. Merry Christmas love.

 

Keith smiled warmly as he replied back.

 

Keith: i'm not moping... 

 

Allura: You refuse to visit when it's Christmas, insist on being alone how is that not moping?

 

Keith: I'm only respecting your time so you can enjoy being with your family.

 

Keith chuckled when Allura sent him a selfie of herself glaring with her tongue out.

 

Keith: I'll see you tomorrow, enjoy your Christmas.

 

The rest of the day was spent watching reruns of Christmas movies. He called his foster parents that lived five hours away and made sure they were doing well. He wasn't very close with them but he made sure to call them for holidays and birthdays. Midnight approached and there was still no response from Lance.

 

 

He met up with Allura at a cafe near the college in the morning. She was standing outside the cafe peering at her phone with big sunglasses dwarfing her face and her long dyed white hair was piled up in a bun. She was wearing a long white double breasted petticoat jacket with black frills on the edges. No matter where they met up she always looked pristine and beautiful.

Her smile was huge when she spotted him. Keith smiled back. Allura was only a year older than him but she was so confident and mature that Keith never understood why she dedicated her time for him. If it wasn't for her he would still be miserable with Jake.

Once they ordered their drinks they settled down at a corner table where less people were around. Allura only had to look at him once to know that he was a wreck. He hadn't bothered to try to hide the dark circles under his eyes or the paleness of his skin.

“I knew something was up at the party.” Her soft lips formed into a sly smile. “You never drink that much.”

Keith sighed dramatically. “There's no hiding from you.”

“No need to be sarcastic,” she took a sip of her latte, “now tell me what happened.”

Keith took a deep breath and rushed in needing to tell someone. He told Allura about meeting Lance and the coffee dates. How Lance took Storm in and about how he wanted to raise her together with him. He told her about him making dinner for him and how he wanted to make cookies for him. He told her they had kissed but he left out the more intimate parts. Finally he told her about Lance's confession and how he had pushed him away.

Keith finished afraid that he wouldn't be able to hold back his tears. He took a deep breath in as he waited to see what Allura had to say. She was someone that he had always felt comfortable talking with when ever he needed to spill his guts.

Allura stared him in the eyes, her blue irises bright against her dark skin. “You at least owe him an explanation on why you rejected him. It's obvious that he's infatuated with you.” 

Keith twisted his straw, rubbing his fingers over the bitten plastic which he had been gnawing on as he told his story. “You're right. He deserves so much more. I'm just so scared. He's sweet and everything but so was Jake at the beginning.”

Allura knew everything about what happened between Jake and him. She had been there when he had finally decided to leave. He had been afraid that Jake's control over him would make him decide to stay like the first time when he wanted to leave but Jake had played on his fears and he had stayed.

Finally Allura had supported him and gave him the strength to finally break away, even threatening Jake with talk of lawyers and every legal action she could think of to keep him from coming after him. The fact that her father and uncle were lawyers put heavy weight to the words. Jake had finally relented but had said some spiteful words Keith's way about how much of a whore he was. Keith was only too happy to be free to care what he said.

“Or he could be the complete opposite,” Allura set her cup down. “Sadly there are too many people like Jake in this world... but not every person you meet will be like him. But no matter what I'll always be there to help.”

Risk taking, that was what life was all about. Keith had always been a risk taker. He hadn't had much to lose by flinging himself into things.

“I need to apologize to him,” Keith rubbed his eyes which burned with lack of sleep. “even if he doesn't want to see me again, he deserves that.”

“And if he wants to see you again, you know that he's not someone who will give up after one hiccup,” Allura's smile was endearing and he was glad that he had her in his life.

“Thanks Allura,” her hand reached out to hold his and the touch rejuvenated his spirit as she comforted him. He returned her smile with a gracious one. He had needed her strength and support for this. If she wasn't here he probably wouldn't have the confidence to try to reach out to Lance again.

“So you should contact him tonight and plead your undying love for him,” Allura baited as she squeezed his hand with hers.

Keith stuttered, “I- I think I need time to think of what to say to him before calling him.”

“You should say it to his face not over the phone so don't worry about it.” Allura soothed him as she patted his hand before taking her hand away.

Keith breathed out, “Yeah.” 

But he did worry. All his insecurities filled him as he kept thinking that maybe it was too late. Lance had not contacted him since Keith had left his place that night. What if Lance didn't want to waste more of his time on him?

 

 

He had an early shift the morning after he had met up with Allura. The store was quiet as the aftermath of the Christmas rush finally settled. The peace allowed him time to think of what he should say when he talked to Lance. How much did he want Lance to know about his past relationship? Would Lance be insulted that Keith would compare him to his ex?

Lance seemed to be generally caring, natural with his affections, not like the cold calculated emotions that Jake had with him. He only met Lance barely a month ago and the thought was scary how little time he had to develope feelings for him. Was it right to not jump into a new relationship so soon after ending a bad one? Even with how much his heart hurt not hearing Lance's voice and knowing that maybe he might not ever see him again the thought of that scared him the most.

He fidgeted with a supernatural book display that he had reorganized ten different times that day as he pondered what to say to Lance. Would all the facts of his past relationship be too intimate to tell someone he had just met? Or would that help heal Keith so that he could move on and there was nothing more that he wanted than for Lance to help him recover.

The trickle of people entering the bookstore grew and the rest of the day he was too busy to ponder more on the subject. By the end of the day as he was gathering his things he resolved that he would just call Lance that night and if he wanted to talk Keith would tell him what he needed to.

 

Keith paced his small room with his phone locked in his hand. The edges dug into his fingers from his firm hold. He took in deep breaths and let them out. A habit he had learned to calm his anxiety from practicing yoga. After several minutes of controlled breathing he found Lance's contact in his phone and without giving himself time to back out he hit the dial icon.

The phone rang and Keith held his breath, his heart pounding madly against his rib cage. The feeling he was going through was like the feeling he felt right when the ride halted on a roller coaster just before plummeting down a steep drop not knowing if he would survive the experience or not.

“Pick up please pick up.” He was shaking as the third ring sounded. Tears welled in his eyes as the ring ended. He was about to end the call when he heard a click and Lance's voice.

“Keith?” His voice sounded sleepy and Keith squeezed his eyes shut not realizing how much he had missed the lilting vocals.

“H-hey,” Keith pushed out with a shaky voice.

“Why are you calling,” He could almost picture the frown that Lance was wearing. His knees felt so weak and he sank onto his couch before they gave out.

“I-I-...” Keith couldn't find his voice as tears threatened to spill from his eyes.

“I don't think I can talk right now,” Lance's voice sounded distant and Keith hiccuped as he held a hand over his mouth. “...bye.”

“W-wait!” He closed his eyes as he tried to calm his breathing. “Can we please met up? I want to talk to you.”

There was a moment of silence before Lance replied. “I'm still at my parent's house.”

“Oh,” Keith could feel the distance between them more than ever. “I-I'm sorry for bothering you.”

He almost ended the call but he heard Lance on the other end. “I'll be home before New Years. I'll message you when I can.”

“Okay,” Keith replied softly. The call ended and he pressed his forehead to his knees, wrapping his arms around his middle. New years was only a few days away but it might as well be a lifetime for him.

 

 

Work kept him busy as the shop picked up after a new release from an up and coming author who was popular among young adults. The writer had published some short stories online before finally writing a novel about space travel with several humans discovering different alien races. Keith hadn't read any of their previous works but he bought a copy of the new book so he could keep himself occupied at home for the next few days.

He was off for the weekend so he was glad he had New Years free. He needed the time to talk with Lance. He wanted nothing more than for Lance to understand why Keith had pushed him away. He wanted to fix the mess that he had made. The truth was hard but he couldn't hide from his past or cover it up.

 

On New Year's eve an intense winter storm swept through the area. The wind had been strong enough to cause some damage to the trees and people were cautious about traveling outside. The high winds had lasted for hours that morning and the battering of the wind caused his windows to shake. He was afraid they would break but the winds settled in the early afternoon.

He spent the day alone waiting for a text from Lance. It was almost ten and Lance still hadn't messaged him. Keith stared at the clock as if his whole being had given up on everything. Lance wasn't going to contact him. Keith stared down at his lap feeling like a black hole had opened in his chest. He had never realized he could mess up his life this bad.

The occasional gust of wind was the only sound that penetrated the room. All he wanted to do know was crawl in his bed and sleep the new year away. After a few minutes his phone chimed in his hands and Keith was afraid to look at it. He opened the message not knowing what he would do if it wasn't Lance.

 

Lance: I'm in front of your place damn I hope ur home...

 

Keith shot up from his seat, heart pounding. He rushed to the door and opened it. Lance was standing before him looking tired but still breathtakingly beautiful. Keith wanted so much to pull him into his arms but stopped himself. Lance would probably push him away and Keith couldn't bear that pain.

“Can I come in?” His voice was muffled around his scarf and he shifted to pull the material off.

Keith pulled his eyes away from Lance, face tinting pink. “Yeah, sorry.” He stepped away from the doorway as Lance entered. He shut the door behind him and they stood in silence.

Keith stared at a stained spot in the carpet ashamed that Lance had to see him like this.

“So you wanted to talk?” Lance's voice was neutral and Keith couldn't tell by the tone what he was thinking.

This was going to be harder than he thought. “Yeah,” Keith bit his lip still mesmerized by the spot on the floor.

“Well?” Lance prodded, arms crossed. Keith glanced up at Lance's face. His eyebrows were raised waiting for him. He turned his face away wishing he wasn't such a coward. “If you're not going to speak-”

“I'm sorry,” Keith pushed out, eyes shut. His heart felt so fragile at the moment as if any kind of action would shatter him.

“For what?” Lance edged closer.

“For hurting you,” he was afraid to open his eyes. “For pushing you away when you said you liked me.”

“Is that all?” Lance's voice was soft and Keith couldn't keep the tears at bay as they welled at the corner of his eyes.

Keith took a deep breath. This was the big moment where he poured out his heart and tell Lance everything. Afterwards all he could do was hope that Lance would still be there. So they sat on his couch and he told him all about Jake and his fears. Lance waited patiently as Keith spoke, staying silent even though at some points he looked like he wanted to say something but held back knowing Keith didn't want to be interrupted.

When he finished he waited a moment before speaking again. “I messed up, I let fear win when all I want to do is hold you,” the air cooled his cheeks as tears tracked down his face. “I was an idiot and pushed you away.”

“Does this mean-”

“I want something more than friendship with you,” Keith told him as he opened his eyes to look at Lance's face. His face had softened as he swept Keith's dark hair from his face. The touch was so tender that Keith almost lost his control.

“Are you sure?” Lance's blue eyes were tender as he looked deeply into his. “I don't want you to have any doubts.”

“I'm sure,” Keith said with conviction. He needed to stay strong so Lance would believe him.

“We can take things slow,” Lance caressed the edges of his ears, the touch comforting. “No rushing.”

“I'd like that.” Keith smile was warm as he stared into the dark blue waters of Lance's eyes.

“I'm sorry I didn't contact you during Christmas,” Lance whispered. “I was trying to sort myself out and wasn't sure what I would say.”

“I understand,” Keith replied. They sat in silence for some time.

“Now it's my turn to talk about myself.” Lance took Keith's hand in his, the hold loose so Keith could pull away if he wanted to. Keith only curled his fingers around his.

“Any dark secrets I need to know about?”

Lance laughed lightly, “Where to start?” his face lit up as his lips curled into a smirk.

Keith felt all the anxiety and dark thoughts flee from him as he laughed like he hadn't for weeks, maybe even months.

Lance started talking about his family. He had five siblings and being the middle child he had helped raise his younger brother and sister until he left for college. When his grandmother had passed away she had left behind money for all her grandchildren to help with college and a whole lot left over. No one knew how she had all this money not even Lance's mother.

She had been an interior designer and had worked on a lot of places in Florida. Her designs had been popular and had spread across the country. The apartment Lance was living in was based off one of her designs and that was why he had chosen the place. With the money she had given him Lance had been able to afford the cost. He had also been able to have a discount for being her grandson.

His family hadn't been born with money but now he was happy that his parents had an easier time now. He had loved his grandmother and they had a close relationship. He wanted to honor her memory and that was why he had chosen to come to the art school. The one here was one of the best in the country.

Keith listened as Lance spoke and he could almost feel the love he had for his family. He couldn't say he wasn't envious of their close relationship. All his life he had imagined what his life would have ended up like if he had a family like that. Whenever he had those thoughts he would remember all the people he had met in his life so far, the friends he had, especially Allura and he pushed those dark thoughts away. He would not have been able to know those people if his life had been different.

When Lance finished speaking he looked a little shy. Keith brushed his thumb over Lance's, the gesture letting Lance know that Keith was grateful that he had told him about his past. Keith glanced at the clock and was startled that the time was close to midnight. They had spoken for almost two hours.

He nudged Lance as the minute changed to 59. Lance looked over at the clock and grinned, euphorically. The year was about to end and maybe the new one will bring happiness for them. Lance pulled out his phone and they counted down the seconds on the screen. Finally five seconds, four, three, two, one.

“Happy New Year.” They both said as they stared into each others eyes. Keith felt his heart lurch in his chest as Lance leaned in.

“Can I have your first kiss of the new year?” Lance's thumbs caressed his cheeks as he raised his hands to cradle Keith's face. He leaned into the touch as his eyes locked onto Lance's clear blue eyes.

“Yes,” Keith breathed out, “I'm hoping I can have only your kisses this year,” Keith flushed at his words but he couldn't help the happiness inside him from spilling forth.

Lance grinned wantonly, “I will make sure that happens.” 

Their lips met and the soft press of those lips against his had Keith melting. He never wanted to spend another night alone in this cold silent apartment. A sudden gush of wind rattled the old window and made them jump. Keith gave a short laugh as Lance chuckled.

“We need to get you out of this place,” Lance nuzzled his long hair with his cheek.

Keith giggled, tears damp against his skin. “Yeah.” He breathed in Lance's scent and he never wanted to let go of this.

“Storm misses you.”

Keith smiled, “I miss her.”

“I haven't had a chance to see her since I arrived at the airport. I came over here right away. My flight was delayed because of the weather.” 

“Has she been all by herself this whole time?” Keith pulled away slightly at the thought.

Lance chuckled. “No, she's staying with a friend. I'm not that neglectful.”

Keith flushed, “I'm sorry I just wasn't sure since...” he felt guilty that he hadn't wondered about Storm while Lance was in Miami.

“Don't worry about it,” Lance cupped his hand around his jaw and brushed his thumb against his cheek. “She's safe, I would never let anything hurt her.” The look he gave Keith said 'the same for you' which was left unspoken but Keith felt the power of those silent words in Lance's expression.

Keith nuzzled against Lance's neck breathing in his scent. His smell was earthy and familiar as he wrapped his arms tight around his middle. Lance cradled Keith against him, the space warm and safe.

“I really don't feel like going back out into the cold,” Lance's voice was soft as his breath tickled against the tip of his ear. “the wind is terrible.”

“Yeah,” Keith agreed. “you can stay here for the night.”

“Are you sure?” Lance questioned.

“If you are okay with that,” Keith looked up with uncertainly.

“It's fine,” Lance said gently. “I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable with that.”

“We'll just be sharing a bed to stay warm and all,” Keith teased as he reached for Lance's hand and twined their fingers together.

Lance's skin crinkled around his eyes as he grinned broadly. “I thought you would be taking the couch.”

“I'm not that nice. This couch is uncomfortable and too small.” Keith poked him. “If anything I would make you sleep here.”

“Fine I'll take the offer of sharing a bed,” Lance touched his forehead to Keith's, suppressing a laugh.

“It's not very big.” Keith warned.

“I like cuddling.” Lance countered with a lopsided smirk.

“Me too.” Keith returned as he brushed their noses together.

Around three in the morning they finally made their way to Keith's small bedroom. He was a little nervous but once he felt Lance wrap his arm around him to pull him close he relaxed as the exhaustion from the past week settled over him. Sleep didn't take long to take him and he couldn't feel the cold as he shared body warmth with Lance.

 

Keith woke up with Lance's arm draped over him. The space between them was a hair's width but the heat from Lance's body spread over him. His face was so close to Lance's that he could see the long eyelashes flutter over his skin casting elongated shadows over his cheekbones. His mouth was slightly parted in his sleep, wheezing out soft breaths. His hair was tussled from his pillow, the short strands poking in different directions.

This point in time Keith believed that he could stare at the picture before him forever. Lance was as beautiful sleeping as he was awake. Keith's pulse spiked as he ran his fingers over the soft hair that fell into his face.

Lance's lips shifted into a soft smile. “G'morning.” He whispered.

“Morning.” Keith responded as Lance's arm tightened around him.

They laid in silence for a while as sleep slowly left them.

Lance finally broke the silence. “I really don't want to get up.”

“Me too.” Keith agreed.

“I can already imagine how cold it's going to be.” Lance groaned.

Keith had grown used to the cold but he did not want to leave the warmth that Lance provided. “I hate winter.”

Lance pouted, “I love winter, though this is my first winter with snow.”

“Warm drinks help,” Keith advised.

“How about that coffee you owe me?” Lance asked as he nudged his nose with his. Keith smiled warmly before he leaned in to kiss him lightly in reply. Warm hands were running up and down his back as their legs tangled together. “Then we can pick up Storm together and bring her home.”

Keith smiled. The first morning of the new year was already one of the best Keith had had in a long time. His resolution for this year was to make sure his new life with this man would bring them both happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was only suppose to be a simple Christmas story! But things change and now I already have an idea for a Valentine's day story. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this!
> 
> ~Neroli


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